For me, being torn is a lifelong personal issue.

Susan Quilliam portrait, smiling at the cameraAs a toddler I remember eating far too many sweets, refusing to go to bed, throwing a temper tantrum. But at the same time I wanted to please the adults around me, wanted to be ‘good’.

I was already feeling torn.

As I got older, the conflicts got more complex. Career. Relationships. Loyalties. Moral dilemmas. Life decisions. Balancing my conflicted wants and needs and trying to cope with the anxiety and frustration that came along for the ride.

Then I started working in the field of personal change – as a coach, facilitator, advisor. I soon learnt that I wan’t alone in feeling conflicted. Everyone feels torn sometimes.

Through my work – and through my own life – I’ve also learnt that there are ways through. Yes, inner conflicts do keep happening. But given insights and solutions, they can also be resolved.

So over time I grew passionate about creating, collecting and curating resources on how best to resolve inner conflict.

And during lockdown, I started to realise that what I’d learned could be useful to others.

So here I am. Starting The Torn Project.

PS: You may want to read my formal CV, which details my 40+ years of work as an author, broadcaster, advice columnist, facilitator and relationship coach.