When did you last feel ‘torn’?
At odds with yourself. Divided. Undecided. Conflicted.

At The Torn Project, we’re fascinated by how people get to feel like this, how people experience inner conflict, how they get to feel ‘torn’.

We’re even more fascinated by how people stop feeling that way. How do people make peace with inner conflict? How do they regain alignment, harmony and balance within themselves?

Most importantly, we want to bring together the best resources across many disciplines – personal stories, professional expertise, cultural wisdom – to help everyone understand what is happening when they feel conflicted, and how they can find resolution.

Who we are and what we are doing

The Torn Project is currently a core team of three, all teachers and coaches. During the emotionally-tumultuous pandemic years, we began to realise that inner conflict is normal – most people experience it – but it’s largely unrecognised and unappreciated. There are few research studies, few dedicated resources to help people navigate being ‘torn’.

So, post-pandemic, we’re interviewing people to hear their moving personal stories around themes such as Career, Love, Loyalty, Morality. Life… Death. We’re talking with experts to gather insights and solutions from fields such as psychology, philosophy, medicine, politics, religion, literature and the arts. We’re using what we’ve learned – both in our own work with individuals and through delivering seminars at professional and university level.

Right now we’re still in the ‘research and content creation’ phase. But we are nearing the point of offering resources – articles, expert interviews, true-story podcasts, guidelines and helpful advice – to explain what inner conflict is and how it can be resolved.

So if you’d like to be kept in the loop about what we are doing, please sign up to The Torn Project’s newsletter with the sign-up form.

Project update

A couple of weeks ago, the project team came together in London for a couple of days' brainstorming.

By a brilliant stroke of luck, we met a poet for hire on the south bank, and he wrote us this poem:

  The Torn Project

      I am torn. I am pulling in multiple directions at once
    I am falling to pieces. I am not the same person I used
    to be. I cannot trust myself. I
    abuse myself, I deceive myself
    I cannot even decide on a name
   I punish myself and poison myself
   and lacking any capacity for pleasure, any
    ability to enjoy
   I am made mean, reptilian and skin-scaled and hard
  and I daren't let anyone near me and my environment is a 
    threat
           how can I embody kindness
    so that the air is like a lover's touch, so the air is
    spritely and flirtatious about me so that the sun plants
      kisses on my brow
   and how can I care tenderly, but also fiercely
    ferociously and protectively
         and how can I gain wisdom
         which is not diffuse nor platitudinal
            which not mere saw and maxim
      but precise
     as cut diamond?

  (Luke Davis, 28th June 2024)

How can you join the conversation?

We also want to connect directly with individuals, groups and organisations who would like to join our conversation and contribute their own ideas.

So please contact us directly if:

• you want to share your reflections about the project
• you have personal experience of being ‘torn’ and are willing to tell your story anonymously, either in writing or in an audio or Zoom interview
• you have professional expertise yourself, or can point us to work by others, around the theme of inner conflict

We promise absolute confidentiality if you prefer, and formal attribution if that’s useful to you.

The Torn Project hugely welcomes all your thoughts, feelings, insights, suggestions and ideas – however unusual!